I must do something about my weight this time…….

I haven’t posted about this as yet this year because will quite frankly I didn’t want to set myself up for failure…and given my job (in mental health) I have enough insight not to do that …even if I haven’t been able to get a handle on my relationship with food over the years.

So as you may have gathered by the fact that I’m putting it out there for others to see…I think that maybe ..just maybe I’m starting to do just that…well at the moment LOL!!

I’ve been writing things down …not lots of stuff but just the occasional thing and thought now I might start including it in my blog…so this first post will be somewhat bigger than any that follow I’m sure but in all truth it’s an amalgamation of things I’ve written down since January this year…..so buckle up …actually it’s not that long !!

I started 2012 exactly in the way I didn’t want to….over weight!!

I get so fed up with myself it’s not real but this year started a bit differently because inspired by the members of the lovely forum I visit http://www.downthelane.net/forum/ I decided that would tackle my weight again.

I started up again my version of Slimming World – for anyone reading this and who doesn’t know what it is have a look here…http://www.slimmingworld.com/

I lost weight (around 51/2 stone / 77lbs /35kgs) using the Slimming World plan around 10 years ago…..I didn’t want to be fat and forty….and I wouldn’t have been had I not been pregnant !!! 🙂 The trouble is that over the past 6 years I have gained and gained and not done anything about it…..so onward and upwards I got myself back onto things and in the last  months (now 15 weeks to be precise) I have lost over 12kgs.

On the basis that I appear to be sticking with my more healthy attitude I now  feel quite happy with sharing what I’m up to …that is not to say I won’t suddenly clam up if it all goes pear shaped !!!… but for now it’s all good.

Then someone started talking about the book by Paul McKenna – I can make you Thin and how much it had changed her life. It wasn’t a diet but was about applying four simple rules to your approach to food.

So a couple of weeks ago I bought the Paul McKenna book and although I’m not all the way through it yet I’m most of the way so I thought I would start applying the principles he says will work to help you lose weight.
So I’m really thinking about eating when I’m hungry, consciously, what I want and stopping when I’m full….it seems too simple doesn’t it? Actually it’s not THAT simple you do really have to concentrate (I’m hoping that eventually like all habits it will become spinal cord and it won’t have to be quite so consciously!).

I picked a week to start..my birthday week :?…but do you know what there will always be some reason not to start something so this week is as good as any.

I know that I had put on 2.6kgs over my birthday (well contrary to what goes into it carrot cake really can’t be considered one you 5 a day ) – I know this because I was jumping on and off the scales like a thing demented (guilt is a great driving force isn’t it!!)..
As it was coming to an end (the carrot cake that is) it seemed a good time to start – so over the weekend (and we are now on Tuesday morning here) I have applied the rules….and this morning when I weighed myself I’ve got rid of 2kgs of the gain so I am happy because that means that despite having stuffed myself silly with carrot cake and chocolate and chinese I have only gained 600g after being disciplined for 3 days.

I have eaten what I have wanted – there have been no barriers…if I wanted cake I had it, ice cream..yep. The thing I have found the hardest to do is slow down ..I’ve always seemed to eat on the run, I’m always in a hurry to do things (people here ask I how I fit the things I do into my life…well that will give you a clue ). I have noticed though that by slowing down I have been able to notice when I’m getting full rather than eating what’s on the plate then sitting back later and having that uncomfortably full feeling.

I don’t know why I have ended up in a battle with food but I have but what makes absolute sense to me is sorting out the psychological relationship with food……

When people say if you could do your life over again would you change anything…I can honestly there is only one thing…if I could do anything differently I would have taken notice of my diet…crazy isn’t it when I was thin (and I was) I thought I was fat…now I am fat and I know I’m fat …what is all that about? Anyway it’s the only thing I think I would want to change… everything else makes you who you are but the fat…well I don’t think it does anything but make you fat.

He (Paul) reckons you shouldn’t weigh yourself any more than every 2 weeks..I’m not sure I can do that but I will do it weekly at the most and see where I go from here.

Am I convinced it will work? …if I’m honest …. no I do feel sceptical.
Do I have hope?…Yes I do and I’ll add this having read through this before I posted it gives me more.

Why have I decided to try this and not continue with an eating plan that I know has worked so well for me in the past?….well as you may have gathered from this blog food plays a big part in my life and the biggest problem that I have had is that for me some foods have been off limits because “I am on a diet”…if I can eat sensibly by applying the principles (I don’t like calling them rules because if you break them that sounds bad) that Paul McKenna describes then that means no food is off limits and I don’t feel that I’m missing out / being deprived etc etc…Time will tell

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